Deadened !!




Morning 7:00 am as I go about in a local train. Plugging in my ear phones..tuned into a radio station and listening to music. Happy and Joyful Saturday. A news comes in and I hear about the demise of that young girl. The girl who fought...against all odds..a girl who fought for her life from past two weeks.That brave heart who scribbled a week before that all she wants is to LIVE...that brave heart is now no more. A sudden chill ran down my spine as I kept hearing the news.

The next moment i plugged out my ear phones..with tears in my eyes..chilling..feeling Numb...just NUMB..!!!

I got down at the station...crowd all around me.. Felt annoyed...Felt disturbed...I saw the faces of each men passing by me..I kept staring each one with eyes full of of anger and disgust.
I feel ashamed to be born in this country.. Ashamed to be a part of it..!!

I thought for a while..I am girl .... What if It ever happened to me....!! An emotion of fear and anger grips me now....!!

She died..and with her a part of my soul.


yaaayyyy.....A post I wished to often write...A post about my Curls !!

I look at people with some great straight hair and always imagine they are so care free. They have endless hair cut options whereas on a curly hair, the best you can come with is a Step Cut. People with straight hair hardly do anything.  They just have to brush a little and all is set. At times, when I look at them, I feel pity for my hair...!!

Only people like me know how much it takes to just maintain your hair on a regular basis. Sometimes u get so messed up in these curls that you do nothing and give up..!! That’s when the thought of straitening hair comes to my mind..!!

My first attempt of straightening was a simple blow dry of my hair after a haircut. Was perfect. I felt confident about it and jumped all over the place. I got gorgeous comments on my look as I captured myself and published on FB.  I knew washing my hair would bring back my curls.... I almost tried to maintain that till 4 days..!! This was the crazziest thing I had ever done with my hair. I used to sleep straight with my hair lying at peace.. I avoided all the various positions of sleep which I normally do..!! When bathing, I wrapped my fake straightened hair into a plastic hair mask to avoid contact of water. As the days continued, my straight affect started to fade away and so did my confidence..!! Then on 5th day I was forced to wet my hair by mummy and it all ended. I was back to being normal. I was back to being curly. Somewhere felt bad about the demise of my hair straightness but somewhere felt little good to see my curls back. As I saw myself in the mirror... All my curls hanging in there.. bouncing with happiness to be back again. 


My First Attempt :P
 
My second ultimate attempt was simple, I got a hair straightener. The moment I was purchasing it, I was so happy and imagined myself in all the different poses of a silky straight hair. Next day was nothing but a pure experiment day. I closed myself inside a room and ran the straightener slowly on each section of my hair. It took more than 10 to 20 rounds for each section to actually become straightened.  I realized my curls were stiff enough and were in no mood to be changed. I gathered some courage and continued my attempt. I started in morning and as I finished it I realized even lunch time was over. In the end I did succeed though just to some extend but lost all the patience to try the same for the second time ever in my life. So there lies my straightener untouched in a corner of my cupboard. 


 My Second Scary Attempt :P

Every day as I combed my hair... I used to feel more and more pity for my hair... !! Then one fine day, a friend of mine after long asked me.."How you doing curls?" I asked him, why does he call me like that? He just said.."The curls look good". I looked at myself and thought..How many of them have a natural curly hair? May be I never cared for my curls..so much..maybe I never loved them. So I started to pamper them, so that they feel good and I feel good about having them. Now, I moisturize them, detangle them, scrunch them, use products which they respond to and take proper care of them. It does take some amount of time but I regularly do this now a days. As I look at my curls now, I actually feel good about owning them. As I write this, I am proud and happy with my curls and me. It’s a little different these days. I step out with my curls on and feel pity for those people with straight hairs....hehe.. for not having curls. I somewhere feel a weird connection with my curls. 

The Natural ME :=)

I finally made a conclusion out of the whole hair experimentation thing. Straightening you hair may give you a different look but do not forget to love and embrace your natural hair whatever they may be like. Coz your hair is your best accessory, your wear it every day, so have FUN with it. 

PS: Love your hair and it loves you back !! :D




This post is for written for SunSilk Straight Hair Experiment.  ;) 

 http://www.indiblogger.in/topic.php?topic=70

A Silent Cry




Hmmm.. As I look in the mirror today.. I see myself smiling like usual..but then I stared at myself for a time longer.. I saw the silent mind beneath.... a silence which was drifting my mind. How often does it happen that all is perfect out there...But still blank inside. As if your mind is playing stupid games with you. All you want is to be happy and feel good about it..and may be that's just not happening...!!

A point were words are falling short , but the whispers are loud enough. Unsure of the mind..and unsure about the ways to express it. At times anger gripping from inside !! It is this way when somethings are hard to make out..when no amount of words can bring out what you feel like. You look down silently..tear's gilding from deep within..Just a silent cry.


PS:  I frown at myself.. and promise to improvise this me...Grief moments. I ll be back soon :) :)