Deadened !!

Morning 7:00 am as I go about in a local train. Plugging in my ear phones..tuned into a radio station and listening to music. Happy and Joyful Saturday. A news comes in and I hear about the demise of that young girl. The girl who fought...against all odds..a girl who fought for her life from past two weeks.That brave heart who scribbled a week before that all she wants is to LIVE...that brave heart is now no more. A sudden chill ran down my spine as I kept hearing the news.

The next moment i plugged out my ear phones..with tears in my eyes..chilling..feeling Numb...just NUMB..!!!

I got down at the station...crowd all around me.. Felt annoyed...Felt disturbed...I saw the faces of each men passing by me..I kept staring each one with eyes full of of anger and disgust.
I feel ashamed to be born in this country.. Ashamed to be a part of it..!!

I thought for a while..I am girl .... What if It ever happened to me....!! An emotion of fear and anger grips me now....!!

She died..and with her a part of my soul.

Curl Romance ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶

yaaayyyy.....A post I wished to often write...A post about my Curls !!

I look at people with some great straight hair and always imagine they are so care free. They have endless hair cut options whereas on a curly hair, the best you can come with is a Step Cut. People with straight hair hardly do anything.  They just have to brush a little and all is set. At times, when I look at them, I feel pity for my hair...!!

Only people like me know how much it takes to just maintain your hair on a regular basis. Sometimes u get so messed up in these curls that you do nothing and give up..!! That’s when the thought of straitening hair comes to my mind..!!

My first attempt of straightening was a simple blow dry of my hair after a haircut. Was perfect. I felt confident about it and jumped all over the place. I got gorgeous comments on my look as I captured myself and published on FB.  I knew washing my hair would bring back my curls.... I almost tried to maintain that till 4 days..!! This was the crazziest thing I had ever done with my hair. I used to sleep straight with my hair lying at peace.. I avoided all the various positions of sleep which I normally do..!! When bathing, I wrapped my fake straightened hair into a plastic hair mask to avoid contact of water. As the days continued, my straight affect started to fade away and so did my confidence..!! Then on 5th day I was forced to wet my hair by mummy and it all ended. I was back to being normal. I was back to being curly. Somewhere felt bad about the demise of my hair straightness but somewhere felt little good to see my curls back. As I saw myself in the mirror... All my curls hanging in there.. bouncing with happiness to be back again. 

My First Attempt :P

 

My second ultimate attempt was simple, I got a hair straightener. The moment I was purchasing it, I was so happy and imagined myself in all the different poses of a silky straight hair. Next day was nothing but a pure experiment day. I closed myself inside a room and ran the straightener slowly on each section of my hair. It took more than 10 to 20 rounds for each section to actually become straightened.  I realized my curls were stiff enough and were in no mood to be changed. I gathered some courage and continued my attempt. I started in morning and as I finished it I realized even lunch time was over. In the end I did succeed though just to some extend but lost all the patience to try the same for the second time ever in my life. So there lies my straightener untouched in a corner of my cupboard. 

 My Second Scary Attempt :P

Every day as I combed my hair... I used to feel more and more pity for my hair... !! Then one fine day, a friend of mine after long asked me.."How you doing curls?" I asked him, why does he call me like that? He just said.."The curls look good". I looked at myself and thought..How many of them have a natural curly hair? May be I never cared for my curls..so much..maybe I never loved them. So I started to pamper them, so that they feel good and I feel good about having them. Now, I moisturize them, detangle them, scrunch them, use products which they respond to and take proper care of them. It does take some amount of time but I regularly do this now a days. As I look at my curls now, I actually feel good about owning them. As I write this, I am proud and happy with my curls and me. It’s a little different these days. I step out with my curls on and feel pity for those people with straight hairs....hehe.. for not having curls. I somewhere feel a weird connection with my curls. 

The Natural ME :=)

I finally made a conclusion out of the whole hair experimentation thing. Straightening you hair may give you a different look but do not forget to love and embrace your natural hair whatever they may be like. Coz your hair is your best accessory, your wear it every day, so have FUN with it. 

PS: Love your hair and it loves you back !! :D

This post is for written for SunSilk Straight Hair Experiment.  ;) 

 http://www.indiblogger.in/topic.php?topic=70

A Silent Cry

Hmmm.. As I look in the mirror today.. I see myself smiling like usual..but then I stared at myself for a time longer.. I saw the silent mind beneath.... a silence which was drifting my mind. How often does it happen that all is perfect out there...But still blank inside. As if your mind is playing stupid games with you. All you want is to be happy and feel good about it..and may be that's just not happening...!!

A point were words are falling short , but the whispers are loud enough. Unsure of the mind..and unsure about the ways to express it. At times anger gripping from inside !! It is this way when somethings are hard to make out..when no amount of words can bring out what you feel like. You look down silently..tear's gilding from deep within..Just a silent cry.


PS:  I frown at myself.. and promise to improvise this me...Grief moments. I ll be back soon :) :) 

A Strange Silence !!

A blurred way I see... little fear as I walk through it..
I hold onto myself in some belief..
I am not falling apart..but still as though..
A strange silence beholds me from deep within        

A Hope that it fades away soon..

P.S: Just a small confession of a Silent Mind !!

The Dreamer ツ

Something just inspired me to scribble my thoughts again here..So here I am again with my mysterious and crazy vibes.. ;) Just paused this for sometime, may be things weren't so nice. But then you have to keep fighting till you set things right. As I pen down my thoughts, I realize I kind of missed this place. I thought I was just lost in my dream world somewhere and the reality outside started to haunt me. But then I found, I was me coz of these dreams. They may shatter you at times, that doesn't mean you loose hope and stop dreaming. So I decided to be back with my fairy tales coz I believe these fairy tales are not all about finding something, its about fulfilling those dreams and most important standing up for what you believe in.

PS: I think for the most part, if you're really honest with yourself about what you want out of life, life gives it to you. ;) :)

For my sweet pal : A Bday Post

Happiest Birthday 

to a very sweet girl

who understands my miss calls

hopes for apple products :P

desires crazy yet beautiful things..

Knowing all my stupidity, 

still chooses to be with me in public.. ;)

and most importantly makes me 

feel loved unexpectedly and always. :)

This is post is a small token of my gratitude

for this friendship which has been very special and dear to me..

Dear Shweta, may u get all the happiness, love,

all the things you desire, all the people you treasure...

and whenever your eyes gets misty.. 

I ll be there for a "Dostana" :P ;)

aur hann mera wala yeh "Dostana" hamesha rehgaa :) (BFF)

Lots of love and hugs on this very special day XoXo

PS: Hope this post brings out the extra share of all that makes you happiest :)

Think Post: Reasons

It is hard to satisfy oneself by saying that everything happens for a ReAsoN until you find the real rEaSoN for it.

The Secret Store..Shhhhh

Hussshh....finally I am down here again with this..!!! I find myself being unstable these days. Just a state of my mind. Hope that this will fade soon. To make it a little interesting thought about opening some mysteries through this post..

Every one has story to tell..and every story also has some little secrets in them. Here I am sharing my own...!!! So lets start.

• I used to eat horlicks secretly when all were asleep. Even today I prefer eating it rather then mix it with milk..!!
• I drank kerosene during my crawling phase confusing it with water... but still I survived..!
• I love my life and the way I live it..so I really don't take up advice's !!
• I spoiled many of old family photographs by sketching funny things on them..my intention was to make people laugh..it turned out to be something else..:P
• I hate people who keep chatting on continuous basis... I would rather sit alone then listen to them..they make me piss off at times.
• I am afraid of dark...or being alone in dark..The secret which my mommy shares with me.
• I once did a hotel lifting (Couple of heavy steel sPooNs) wid my bro...was fun!!
• If m sleepy and you talk to me...forget the conversation we had.. cozz i ll forget..!!
• I judge the other persons personality by the way he/she speaks.
• I am a music freak and a movie bluff..hate people intervening in between.
• I love my eyes... ;) so much that I make sure they are well hydrated and sparkling every hour. ;) :-)
• M the type of girl who prefers Ice cream over chocolate any time.
• I am not very spiritual but everyday I have a chat with some supreme power beside me.

As I post..pictures of many more floating in my mind...but let it remain a secret ;) :) In fact a story behind this blog title...named it this way coz it shares some mysteries ..Its like my diary..Every post tells some secret story revolving around me.. ;) Hidden truths can be special sometimes, not because of its content..but because of the mystery it surrounds. That's what I call is the beauty of life. So be Mysterious & Stay Beautiful !!

PS: What's in your secret store??? Do share it here...Give it a while and think..it lets you know yourself more.. :)

An Annoying Post !!!

This post is a dedicated to all those annoying people who have completely being a shocker to me and will be throughout my life. Annoying the word says it all...making you mad and irritating you all the while. I m kind of person who forget things pretty quickly unless it hadn’t hurt me..But sumtyms its not the things which make you mad..it’s the people who do it..

I have come across some really annoying people in my life that I think are nothing but fools not having common sense. It is kindaa a of surprising when you realize it is the same people who you thought were good and approachable to anything. From silly matters to serious ones these people act so foolish that they end up making your mind fucked and leaving just one thought left for you..."I wanaaa punch you on ur face". Yes it is annoying; I manage to shrug it off somehow. Is it so very interesting that it makes you stop thinking sense and disconnect yourself from the world? It hurts and annoys me more when they enter into my personal space. (M getting annoyed by the fact that m using the word annoy many times now.. I think this will as well annoy you reader’s heheh)

I am not into gender bias nor do I want to sound being good and great...but most of the people who annoy me bound to be females...I mean what is wrong with females?? It is funny but I can’t recall many of the boys irritating me compared to the percentage of women. I have been really patient a t times, tried to ignore these annoying ones. (Didn’t ignore them on their face directly even though I was getting pissed). Also, have controlled my urge to say "shut up and get lost" or even the urge to slap on face. Some times I feel good to think of doomsday which will include all the annoying bugs as well.

I really don’t know when I may leave my patience and extend my arm to slap them. The moral is I don’t want them to change...may be they are destined to be annoying... but to just stay away from me.

I do not have anything for annoying people coz I know I can be annoying too....but when you do things..it just takes a sec to think whether it is right or not. M getting annoyed by writing this post now..coz all those people are getting on my mind. So before it get on my nerves..will end it here.. and hope for a peaceful tomorrow. :)

Intoxic Mind

Just when I thought to start it fresh,
the same old sparks of past fires
m fighting something inside me I know
a battle of which I aint sure

Again a guilt that sickens me
a smile to cover the thoughts in deep
the pleasure and pain still so pure

All I need is to be high
coz have already started to feel low

PS: A stupid poem indeed..just scribbled whatever came to me... :)